If this happens a few times, you stop even trying to communicate with others, thereby perpetuating the viscous cycle. You need to let people know how you want to be treated in order to change how people will interact with you. Help them to help you. Explain that you have a hearing loss and that it is best if they face you when speaking; speak a little slower and to speak clearly. With this understanding, communication becomes a success. It is said that we change the world one person at a time! Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to communicate with everyone in your world!

I encourage every one who suspects that they have a hearing loss to recognize that it is just another avenue that your life is taking, one phase has ended - another begins. Here is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and utilize your inner resources. Take up a new hobby, memorize a poem, learn a new song, and use that brain which has served you well all through your life. Like they say "if you don't use it, you'll lose it"!

As a hard of hearing person, you are sometimes the last to know what you do hear or what you don't hear. Unless someone says to you that "This is the third time, I've called you from the kitchen, didn't you hear me?" you don't realize what you are not hearing well. Unless someone says to you "Listening to those birds reminds me of the time when I ..." and you realize that you can't hear the birds. While it is certainly not important whether you can hear the birds or not, it is a big deal when family and friends stop talking to you because they think "why bother, he/she can't hear me anyway". If more and more of these situations happen, you won't know what you are missing. You find yourself not going to certain functions, because "well, I can't hear what they are saying, so why bother". Sounds kind of lonely, doesn't it?

What happened to me was that I was unaware of my behaviour until I met my husband and he would tell me things that was said at such-and-such event and it would surprise me because I was there too but didn't "hear" that part. Then I began to realize how much I was "missing". Thus began my journey to learn more about living in a hearing world......

The best advice I can give you is to be patient and to persevere. Imagine learning a new language or grappling with new software on your computer, it takes time. Be gentle with yourself during this time. You wouldn't scold a baby for taking too long to learn how to walk, would you? So be patient with yourself. It will get better. I promise!

One the challenges of the hearing impaired is to be assertive about our hearing loss and our communication needs. We are not always eager to distinguish ourselves and may feel that we are a "nuisance" to others. Change your perspective ... by asking the speaker to repeat shows that you are interested in what he/she has to say. Focusing on the speaker takes a little of the focus off you and perhaps you won't feel so self-conscious. A lot of solving communication needs is done by simply telling others what the problem is, and what needs to be done so you can hear and participate. Many times I've had people tell me that they were flattered that I was so interested in what they had to say that they forgot that it was because I was hard of hearing that I was asking them to repeat themselves.

Supportive listening and understanding is very important to the hard of hearing. They often feel that they are being a bother to others because of the extra effort called for, and so will not tend to ask for help.

It is important that you become your own best advocate. Do not expect or assume that others will "look out" or "listen" for you. You have to be responsible for what you hear or don't hear. The best place to start is by understanding your own hearing loss. Once you understand it, then you are better able to explain it to family and friends in a way that they will understand. Practice this explanation with a trusted family member or friend. Practice until you are over your "shyness" and feel very comfortable explaining to someone about your hearing loss. Be sure to describe the impact the hearing loss has your life.

Use examples such as "If someone is not facing me, I probably won't hear him" or "I don't always hear the telephone ringing if I am in another room". Think about what that person needs to understand and how best to interact with you. Explain how you use speechreading combined with your hearing to understand what is being said to you which is why they need to face you. If they are in another room, you can't speechread. If you are in the kitchen and there is water running and your friend is speaking to you, you probably won't hear your friend very well over the sound of the running water. If the TV or the radio is on, you probably won't hear him either. The more examples you can share, the better the other person will understand.

Hearing loss is hard for hearing people to grasp. In some situations, you can hear well and in others, not so well. Many relationships suffer because of the anger that occurs when there is general miscommunication between family members. Generally, it's not only the person with a hearing disability that feels isolated, but others around them who feel they are not being "heard" or "paid attention to", especially if the hearing loss has been gradual. Family members then feel as if their hearing loss family member doesn't care about them enough to make changes to reduce their disability and make it easier to communicate. They may think to themselves "Why won't he get a hearing aid?" Getting a hearing aid is just the first step in living with a hearing loss. So why not start?