All of these experiences have shaped you to who you are today. You are a full and enriched human being with a lifetime of experiences that are available to be shared. As I have matured, I have gained a greater sense of inner confidence that I did not have before and now realize that I am much more than my hearing loss.

It is important to keep a healthy self-esteem when coping with and understanding your hearing loss. It is easy to fall into that trap and be lured into that nice quiet "world of silence", "I'll just stay home and relax", "They all mumble too much anyway", "It's too hard for me to keep up with the conversation".

While growing up, I focused a lot on the fact that I had a hearing loss and had to wear two hearing aids. Poor me! Just like any other teenager or young adult, I wanted desperately to be like everyone else. As the years went by, I realized that it was my skills and abilities that got me work throughout my career. No one seemed to be bothered about my hearing loss, except me. Hmmmm. Gradually over time I got so busy living my life that I was able to almost forget about my hearing loss.

As much as I can, I try to control my environment by sitting where I have the best view of the group i.e. lights are behind me rather than behind the speaker. By having the light behind me, it avoids having the light shining right into my eyes so I can't see the speaker's face to read their lips. In smaller groups, the same strategy applies. I try to sit where I can see most of the faces of the group and then, one at a time, I focus on whoever is doing the talking.

Professionals now understand that when a person loses his/her hearing, he/she goes through the same psychological stages that terminally ill people go through - denial, anger, awareness, bargaining, depression and acceptance. So when communicating with someone about his/her hearing loss, keep in mind that he/she is probably in one of these stages. He/she can only move through these stages in his/her own time, no one can force him/her to move through to another stage if he/she is not ready.

When we are struggling with our hearing, we begin to develop what is known as 'denial'. We start defending our position and try to make the other person wrong so that we are right. We say things like "I hear just fine", "I hear some people alright", "People just mumble or talk too fast" or "I hear you when you're not talking from another room". We stall, come up with reasons for not getting hearing aids, withdraw from social situations to avoid awkward moments, stop trying to listen, and we wait for the world to come to us in a way that we can hear, then we feel "all is well in my world". This "denial" soon becomes a habit and we have become entrenched in our beliefs and resist any other solution that may be out there for us. Meanwhile, family and friends have stopped trying to talk with you because they're not sure if you're hearing them and when someone does speak to you, you may answer or respond incorrectly. If it wasn't for those brave souls who would be willing to approach you, you would very lonely indeed.

1. Denial - Generally, people may often admit to having communication problems but think that it is not "bad" enough. Recognizing that you have a hearing loss may be the hardest part, especially if it has been a gradual process. Audiologists say that the typical person has waited seven years! By that time, they have forgotten what it's like to hear normally - their personality has changed to accommodate hearing loss. It can be difficult to adjust to hearing through amplification after "not hearing well" as they have gotten used to the quieter sounds. The individual may not understand what is happening to him so he wouldn't know to tell friends and family how to change their communication style. Friends and family can help by discussing the changes in a gentle, supportive and caring way.

2. Anger - People may frequently ask "Why me?" They may project frustrations and anger toward family and/or friends for not speaking clearly, mumbling which could lead to family arguments and resentment. People with hearing loss are sometimes completely unaware of the effects on other people, only on themselves.

3. Awareness - Hearing impaired person begins to understand the problem. This is the hardest stage to reach. Often a life event will occur where the problem can no longer be ignored which will often "surprise" or "jolt" individuals out of the stages of denial and anger.

4. Bargaining - This may be a last ditch effort to avoid the inevitable as long as possible. Postponement to getting hearing tested or getting a hearing aid. It can be helpful because it may provide the person time to overcome their emotions and transcend into acceptance.

5. Depression - Now people have become aware but are not sure of solutions. They feel a sense of loss - loss of youth, loss of identity and fear their lifestyle will be restricted. Perhaps they don't have the energy to learn some coping strategies or are not benefiting from wearing a hearing aid.

6. Acceptance - Individual has overcome denial and is willing to participate in the rehabilitation process. Until the person arrives at his/her own acceptance, he/she will probably not be willing to get a hearing aid.

Grief/loss of hearing is a real condition, although minimized in our today's society. To lose one's hearing can be a shattering of one's self image. To know that you don't hear what you once did, means you're not who you once thought you were. Of course, you're more than your hearing. You can easily learn to speechread or get used to wear hearing aids. However it is not the same. It is important to embrace those feelings of loss and not push them aside. When we can feel those feelings we are closer to accepting them and then we are able to move ahead in our lives. If you don't confront your feelings, you'll be stuck and wonder why the world is moving on without you. Grief can be defined as "the conflicting mass of emotions that occurs when you reach out to someone or something that has been there for you and you reach out one last time and they or it are no longer there." Imagine that you once could hear birds chirping cheerfully in the tree in your back yard, and now you can't. Imagine that you once could hear your neighbour's children playing in their yard across the street, now you have go outside to hear them. As individual situations, they are not a big deal, but collectively they are. Sounds like these make you smile to yourself, and remember scenes from your past. These are memories that make you who you are.